Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hi, My Name Is Sarah

and I have Anxiety.  The capitalization of A in anxiety was intentional.  I'm talking about Anxiety as in this.

My therapist says I do an amazing job at keeping it under wraps (not managed, hidden), so much so that for the last year I haven't believed her about it.  It's likely that it's been present most of my life in a much milder form, however, when I hit one of my major life events in the last few years, especially grad school, it blew up and turned into a big bad ass disorder.  Sometimes I have anxiety attacks, other times it's just a perpetual beast.  Actually, I call it my "little monster."  I don't mean monster it a super crazy way, but like the monsters from Monsters, Inc.  My little monster grows and shrinks inside of me depending on the day, the situation, because it woke up on the wrong side of the bed - sometimes (a lot of the time) it grows for no apparent reason.  At it's simplest, it sucks.  At it's most complex, it's debilitating.

Well, my little monster is growing now as we speak about it, so I'll cut this short and see if I can build a machine like the one in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.

I posted Tommy Knox's "Anxiety Again (3 am)" in on my video page a year or so ago.  I just found this music video of the same song - it's really good - and really accurate.


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