I've finally come to accept that I'm not super woman.
So I've decided to swallow my very large pride and graduate in May instead of December. It turns out that subjecting myself to torture to finish doesn't actually have any advantages.
Now I just need to figure out how to unapply for graduation in December. By the way, my compromise with myself was that when I graduate in May I'm having a stupidly huge graduation party to celebrate...and most of all to say thanks to everyone who stuck by while I made it to the finish line. Officially, consider yourself invited. It'll most likely be the Sunday evening of KU's graduation in May, whatever date that is. Location is TBD in Kansas City.